Friday, June 11, 2010

Fear vs. Faith

Today I decided it was finally time for me to write and start this blog on my website. I’ve been planning and knowing I was going to do this blog for some time now, but just today it hit me to sit my butt down and write to you.


The Real TV Blog is an extension of the video blog The Real TV, which I used to do on Facebook. I stopped doing that about a year ago now, because I just felt overwhelmed by the capacity and expansion of Facebook itself. It started to feel to me more like a collage of real people’s need to connect, stand out, get attention, expose, pry and steal from the inside of people out. And it was all being ran and over seen by this, “FACEBOOK” media person. I decided I didn’t want to be a part of that, in that forum and wanted to stay true to the spirit in which I started doing The Real TV, to give a voice to all of us who are seeking to encourage, enrich and grow in this life together, but who have questions and concerns and wonder if, “it’s only me…” We all want something and we all have something to give. So anyway, I’m going to do it now in this format, on my own turf. Whoever is meant to read, reply and join in is who will be a part of this community. And I by no means think that I am the only one creating an uplifting community of love, no way. There are several. But this is mine, this is me, giving and receiving in my little spec of existence. Thank you, whom ever you are for being a part of the journey and sharing your spec of existence. And just like that, we’ve just created a community of little specs of existences together.


Just like the video blogs of The Real TV, please give your comments, advice, guidance and opposing views. Again this is a forum of Love. Not playing about that!! Comments based on anything other than love and positive guidance will not be printed. And that by no means, means you have to agree with my views. Shoot I’m here to learn from you too. I know that I have lots to learn and always will. That’s what I love about life, always learning and growing. When you stop, you’re dead in one way or another. And also feel free to spread the word about The Real TV Blog to your friends. And Please make suggestions of topics or ask questions that you might be searching for answers to. We’re here for each other.


Today’s Topic for The Real TV Blog: Fear vs. Faith


Today’s topic is facing and walking into what we fear with faith as our propeller. Nothing more than faith and the passion of knowing that this is what you want to do and should be doing at this moment. Let me confess why this is the topic today. Originally I had something totally different for my premiere topic on The Real TV Blog. But, just yesterday I had a meeting at a radio station where I’ve been trying to get on air as an On-Air Personality. Well they are going to give me an opportunity to do something on the weekends. They scheduled a time for me to come in next week to pre-record my first show. In the meeting I’m all confident and making my points of why it’s important to me to be on the radio, and I truly mean them all. Once the meeting was coming to an end and the program directing is introducing me to who I will be recording my show with, the fear of, “What the hell have I gotten myself into,” washed through me. I was thinking to myself, while smiling and laughing on the outside, “I have no freakin idea what the heck I am doing. OMG!!!” Yes, I’m saying OMG! I know it sucks. Anyway…so I’m recording a 4 hour radio show next week and I’m scared because I don’t want to suck!


Then I started to feel really happy about this feeling of fear seeping in. Because I started to remember that my biggest blessings in life have been given to me when I was scared at what I had gotten myself into, but I forged ahead without taking the time to think too much about why I was scared. I’ve had several “Here comes the Fear, so I have to do it” instances. I didn’t necessarily know it at the time, but after I went through it and looked back, each instance lead to blessed changes in my life. Now I’m not talking about you see a big pitbull dog in your path, who looks like he wants to tear your head off, and you feel that fear, but you keep moving towards him anyway. No, crazy, go the other way until his master comes and takes him. That’s common sense fear, that God gave us so we won’t do stupid things, like jumping off a bridge because the water looks cool. No, that’s not what I’m talking about. I’m talking about that spiritual discernment, when you’ve been introduced to an opportunity that will require you to step out of your box, to go out of your safety zone, when finally that job you’ve been praying for is offered to you and now you start to think about all the responsibility and sacrifice you’ll have to make, or even if you can really perform it as well as you’ve been yapping off at the mouth to your boss about. I’m talking about after you’ve been praying to God, and telling all your friends how you really want to be in a good relationship, with a loving, good man and now that he just introduced himself to you, all your fears of being hurt, of being abandoned and your insecurities about your own worth start to creep in and now you have all these excuses of why he can’t be the one for you…these are the type of fears I’m talking about. I say Go for it Heart first! These are the times when you have to talk yourself out of those fears and take a chance on the fact that God Hears your prayers and wants this to be a Blessing for you. Who knows? No one, but God, so I say Go for it. That’s what I have done for most of my life and I promise you, more times than not, I was Blessed beyond my wildest dreams. And even the times when my fears panned out to be true I was blessed with the greatest lessons in my life and I grew from them. Here’s just a quick glimpse at some of my most fearful times:


My first professional acting job in a touring play:

Had no idea what I was doing there, was terrified I would fall or something as soon as I got on stage. I did it anyway. I’ve been blessed with a successful acting career for the past 13 years.


Divorcing:

I was terrified for so many reasons. Being judged by family and friends, failure, Never finding someone to love me. Being alone forever. I finally did it, and I met the love of my life before I could even get my divorce paper signed. We’re blessed with a strong marriage and beautiful children.


Moving from California to Atlanta:

Again, I was terrified and had no idea what was going to become of me, my family or my career. I was constantly hearing all the reasons why I should not from those closest to me. But I trusted that still small voice inside of me and I’ve had so much peace. And worked more that first year of living here, than I did for the past 3 years living in Los Angeles.


Those are just a few of the biggest life changing fears I faced head on. I know you have some too. Let’s share them with others and talk about it. Someone is right at the crossroads wondering what to do. Should she or shouldn’t he? If the apprehension is fear based, I say forge ahead. What ya’ll think??